The inner debates that addicts have

How does addiction keep a person using, drinking, gambling or acting out? There are many ways, but one of the most powerful can be found in the internal dialogue that a person has with themselves.

We all have internal conversations that we are barely aware of. Just think of any dilemma you might have had in the past and the conflicting thoughts you had; this is a form of internal conversation or dialogue.

To addicts these debates manifest themselves as a struggle between two forces, the permission giving thought and the 'adult' self.

A permission giving thought will attempt tas the addict reverts to old behaviours i order to resolve the debate once and for all.o convince an addict that the risks of using or acting out are minimal and the gains are big. It will also give a moral justification for a relapse such as: "Everyone else is doing it, and they're ok," or "It'll just be a one off and then we'll get back on with recovery."

No doubt you can think of dozens more.

Another part of the mind often puts up a defence against these thoughts, stressing the consequences of the relapse. This could be thought of as the adult self, part of our thought that understands about tomorrow, whereas the permission giving thought only knows about now.

The conflict that these two thoughts engage in can be enough to trigger a relapse automatically; drinking or using easily ends the debate on whether or not to drink or use.

It's common to see these two voices as a 'devil and an angel', one tempting the addict and the other trying to guide them. In reality the voices are just aspects of the mind attempting to help.

The permission giving voice is, in its own misguided way, attempting to help. It has no understanding of consequences and instead believes that drugs, alcohol and old behaviours are an easy way of relieving the addict from uncomfortable feelings.

Its simple logic is based on the knowledge that drink and drugs have done the trick before so they will again; it has no idea that its suggestions are harmful and destructive.

Arguing with the voice won't work, instead it is important to calm, reassure and comfort it. We will see how that is done in the next blog in this series.

Are you ready to do something about your addiction? Contact the Living Room Cardiff for free guidance, advice and help. Call 02920 493895.