By Tom Chadwick
RELAPSE is an extremely common hallmark of addiction. Many addicts go through a pattern of abstinence followed by relapse, before successfully quitting altogether.
In fact, relapse is even considered a stage in the stages of change model, which predicts that addicts will cycle through a process of avoidance, considering quitting, making active changes to quit and then relapsing. People can cycle through these changes several times before finally quitting for good.
Relapse is often seen as failure through the eyes of an addict and can lead to a belief that abstinence and recovery is simply too difficult and that there is no point continuing in their recovery efforts. This is your addiction talking. In reality it is not too difficult, but it will require time and patience as well as hard work to recover.
However, relapse is never guaranteed and even if a return to previous addictive behaviours does occur, it does not have to signal a descent back into full blown addiction.
Here are 5 things you need to know about relapse, whether you have already relapsed or want to avoid it:
1. HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired).
These emotions or symptoms can be an early indicator that the recovering addict is heading towards relapse. Fortunately, they are relatively easy to remedy before things reach a full blown relapse. The added benefit is that they remind us of the importance of self awareness and self care, which are pillars of recovery.
Those in recovery from addiction should take care to eat well, resolve anger in healthy and constructive ways, avoid social isolation and ensure that they are getting enough rest. This basic package of self care can help in recovery and relapse prevention.
2. Complacency.
Complacency is not the addict’s friend. It might start with not attending recovery meetings or missing out elements of the recovery program, such as meditation or exercise. It can end with relapse!
Early recovery can be exciting. New ideas are being learned and you feel healthier and as though life is finally heading in the right direction. But even years down the line, complacency can set in. You might stop attending meetings or not practicing a program of recovery so actively. The reasoning is that you don’t need it, you’ve been in recovery for years and have done well so far.
It is important to recognise complacency. Again, this comes down to being more self aware. At these times, upping attendance at recovery meetings and reaching out to your support network is essential.
3. Resentment.
Resentment can be a massive indicator that relapse is coming. You’re sitting in your recovery meeting thinking to yourself: I hate it here, these people are all losers, I was better off when I was in the pub (insert addiction of choice) with normal people. My sponsor puts too much pressure on me, I hate these meetings, I don’t need these meetings and so on.
Then you stop attending meetings, stop communicating with your peers in recovery or sponsor and we know what comes next. Relapse!
These feelings aren’t just confined to recovery, they can be resentments about any area of life, work, relationships, you name it!
It is important to resolve resentments in recovery or learn to let go of them. They can easily lead to relapse.
4. Going back to your old ways.
It might seem like stating the obvious but going back to your old ways is a sign you are probably heading for relapse.
This includes acting in ways you used to such as dishonesty to those around you, seeking out old friends who you engaged in your addictions with, isolation, manipulative behaviour, selfishness and others.
These might be normal behaviours in active addiction, but if they start to become prevalent in sobriety, then this should definitely be a red flag that you’re heading towards relapse.
5. You have already relapsed!
If you have already relapsed, you need to stop immediately and get back to your program of recovery. At this time it is a good idea to attend extra meetings, support groups and take things one day or one hour at a time. The most important thing at this point is not to engage in your addictive behaviours. This too shall pass but you need to focus all your efforts on your recovery now.
Relapse isn’t inevitable and if you have had a lapse or full blown relapse, the best thing you can do is get back on your program of recovery.
With self awareness and a knowledge of universal and individual relapse triggers you can do everything in your power to recover from addiction and avoid relapse.
It is important to strive for progression in recovery and not to become complacent and go backwards.