A topic of discussion commonly arising in recovery group therapy is the constant reminders and triggers that recovering addicts unavoidably encounter in their daily lives.
Having exercised resolute and strong will to gain initial abstinence from our drug of choice (something we never believed we had the strength of mind to achieve), it is galling to be constantly reminded of its ready availability - whether it's walking past a bookie or off licence, viewing an advert, hearing song lyrics or seeing people seemingly enjoying our former addictive behaviour on our favourite soap opera.
A friend in recovery recently talked about his struggle to keep his mental equilibrium with a customer visiting him daily at work to brag about how much he was winning on the horses. It may not have been intentionally malicious - but man, what a pain in the backside! We ran through some creative possible solutions - ranging from the sensible ('how about politely asking him not to talk about gambling with you?') to the absurd ('why don't you chomp on a head of garlic when you see him coming - he'll soon begin to avoid you!').
Triggers are everywhere, and we can't completely avoid them. So, in the words of The Promises that are read at the start of each group therapy session at Living Room Cardiff, "we came to understand that we could not avoid stress, instead we learned to live with it".
Although the title of this blog post is attributed to the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, I'm going to look eastwards for inspiration on how to live with triggers.
Tibetan Buddhism is full of excellent, simple sayings that remind us of the big issues in our lives. In one of his great teachings (I believe it was in The Joyful Path of Good Fortune) my spiritual guide Geshe Kelsang Gyatso Rinpoche recounts the aphorism 'if you want to protect your feet, you can either cover the world in leather, or get a pair of shoes".
This reminds me that as an addict in recovery, I have often tried to over-engineer the solution to a problem, making it unwieldy or unachievable, rather than taking the line of least resistance to design a simple, practical way forward.
My mind is also drawn to the story of when The Buddha (then known as Prince Siddhartha) was approaching his enlightenment, meditating under the Bodhi tree. The Devaputra Demon (desperate to prevent Siddhartha from attaining Buddhahood) fired arrows of desire at him, tempting him with images of attractive women. Because he had trained his mind so carefully, Siddhartha did not perceive either the temptation or the experience of being shot with arrows, he just perceived beautiful flowers and sweet smelling perfume which actually assisted him along to path to perfection.
Many recovering addicts with strong recoveries will live by the mantra "keep your side of the street clean, whatever comes your way". People and circumstances will always arise to try you, but through that trial you can learn about yourself, and grow into the new person that you can become.
Even if you have achieved abstinence, you will forever be confronted with the evidence of other people gambling, drinking, viewing pornography, eating compulsively, living in unhealthy relationships, taking drugs or engaging in chaotic sexual relationships. LGBTi charity Stonewall use the aphorism "some people are gay, get over it!", and ideally recovering addicts will be able to come to accept that others may be able to cope happily with the drug of choice that turned their own lives upside down.